Jensen Ackles: Hey, Josh. So nice to see you. Whatcha doin here?
Joshua Jackson: Hey,...you. Just gettin tp.
Jensen Ackles: Wanna play a joke on somone's house?
Joshua Jackson: Nah, just need to wipe my ass after a long crap. So what are you getting?
Jensen Ackles: Tampons.
Joshua Jackson: ...
Jensen Ackles: ...
Joshua Jackson: ...
Jensen Ackles: So...how's your show? Still fighting with Dawson over that Joey chick?
Joshua Jackson: Dude, that show ended a million years ago. But I won.
Jensen Ackles: Yeah? Good for you, man. Good for you.
Joshua Jackson: And how are things in Stars Hollow?
Jensen Ackles: I was never on Gilmore Girls, my brother was.
Joshua Jackson: Oh, you've got a brother?
Jensen Ackles: No, my brother on Supernatural, Jared. He porked a Gilmore girl.
Joshua Jackson: You sure that wasn't you?
Jensen Ackles: Pretty sure.
Joshua Jackson: So, what are you doing right now?
Jensen Ackles: I told you. Supernatural.
Joshua Jackson: That show about the faggot vampires?
Jensen Ackles: No, that show about the fearless monster hunters, who are flaming heterosexuals.
Joshua Jackson: Hahaha, I'm just fucking with you. Of course I know your show. - It's in our time slot and it sucks ass.
Jensen Ackles: Well, your show sucks ass. We kick ass while you walk around faggoting and letting a chick do all the work. Your show is gay.
Joshua Jackson: But I fuck the chick - in two different universes. It's like doing twins! You're just the ass clown who follows some circus freaks from town to town without getting his dick wet. Like Caine in Kung Fu.
Jensen Ackles: Yeah? You're just a cheap ass version of Mulder without a character. At least, he was a closet pervert. You're just a nanny for your lunatic father, the Nazi doctor.
Joshua Jackson: I'm no nanny. I'm the key to the big fucking machine that may end the universe!
Jensen Ackles: Ooooh, you're a key. I went to hell and back. I fought angels and demons, werewolves and vampires, changelings and Gods.
Joshua Jackson: But why are you such a cunt?
Jensen Ackles: Your mother is a cunt!
Joshua Jackson: Your mother is a cunt!